Sleep Tight

Geez! I haven't blogged in soooo long that I don't even know where to start...

I've though so many times about blogging about different things going on in our daily lives. I've even written out the message in my head several times only to never find or make the time to sit down. I guess I'll start out slowly and go from here.

First things first...I finally did it! After 17 months, I finally put Anna down to sleep by herself and let her cry herself to sleep. I've read so many stories and talked to so many different people about the best way to do this and the bottom line is that it's your preference and what works best for you. I guess in order for you to get the whole picture, I need to back up just a little.

Anna has been the perfect baby since the day she was born. She has always slept really well, she eats just about anything you give her, she is VERY happy, she goes with the flow, she adapts well to change, she has her shy moments but opens up rather quickly to people, she is just perfect. So, she never really cries unless she is hurt, in which she only cries for a few seconds and then that's it. We've had two episodes that I can remember from when she was around 1-2 months old in which she started crying and wouldn't stop no matter what I did. But hasn't done anything like that since. She is always comforted right away...so for me to leave her in the crib and let her cry for an extended period of time was unbearable to say the least. So the first night (which was about 3 weeks ago by now) I was planning on putting her down - which took about 3 additional weeks to muster up the courage to do so - I took her upstairs, read her a couple stories, turned her cd player on, said our prayers and laid her in her bed. She was crying before I even pulled up the safety bar. I told her I loved her and walked out of the room closing the door behind me. I gave her 10 minutes - or maybe I should say I gave myself 10 minutes because I watched the clock DRAG on for every extremely long minute! Then I went up there to console her for a couple minutes and put her back in her crib. I let her cry for another 8 minutes - I couldn't make it to 10 - and went back in there. Now she was doing the whole breathing thing where it seemed like she was gasping for air because she was crying so long and hard. I felt so guilty that I couldn't put her back in there...so we went and laid in our bed until she fell asleep which was only about 2 minutes. I put her back in her bed and she slept all night.

Day 2 was a little easier - I let her cry for 15 minutes before going to get her - but I couldn't put her back down - so we fell asleep in our bed again before I put her back in her crib. Day 3 - she was really tired so it only took about 5 minutes of her crying to fall asleep so I finally thought that this wasn't going to be so bad. Day 4 was the same...then came the weekend. We are always so busy on the weekends so there is no real schedule...Anna falls asleep where ever we are and usually whenever since there is usually a bunch of commotion around us. Then it was back to the schedule on Sunday night and Anna did quite well. I figured out that the more she is worn out the quicker she falls asleep - go figure!!! So we've been playing outside a lot and playing hide and seek and running around to get her tired out - plus I LOVE the play time with her. Brian put her to bed mostly that week because I was out doing things for my new business (more on that later) and by the time I was getting home she was already sleeping in her own bed all by herself.

But this week has been a little harder for me. I feel guilty about not spending much time with her last week and not getting to do our evening rituals - so for the past three nights she has fallen asleep in my arms again before putting her up to bed. I did try Monday night to put her to bed but she cried for about 15 minutes and I couldn't take it anymore and she was doing the breathing thing again so I brought her down and we fell asleep on the couch together. Then on Tuesday, I thought she fell asleep on me but she started crying as I put her down so I just held her until she was definitely asleep. I know that this really isn't the best thing for either of us...but I really love the hold me time. I love having her fall asleep on me and for the quiet time but I also love putting her down at a specific bed time so I can get stuff done (like blogging :)). Tomorrow is another day and tomorrow she will put herself to bed - at least that's what I'm telling myself today!

Good Night little one - sleep tight!